Finding out you’re pregnant is a life changing event. One day, you’re going about your business, eating whatever, staying up late, having wine with dinner. Then, boom!, say good-bye to that. All of the sudden, it’s balanced diets, sleep at a decent hour, and 5 vitamins a day. There are a ton of external changes you make once you find out you’re having a baby. But the funny thing is, as many changes as you make to your lifestyle, in the beginning, you don’t really feel different.
Yes, you feel some new things (see blog entry “What They Don’t Tell You…), but it’s sort of anti-climactic at first. You walk around, and you have this huge new part of you, and no one else knows. You don’t show at first, there’s no neon sign over your head screaming PREGNANT!!!. So in a way, it doesn’t feel real yet. Even after you see the baby on your first ultrasound (ours was at 4 weeks or so, the most beautiful little dot ever), there’s almost a disconnect from you and what’s going on inside you. It starts to become real once you start showing, and share your wonderful news with friends and family, but it’s still hard to believe you actually have a baby growing inside your abdomen. And then, your baby moves. And everything comes into focus.
I felt the baby move for the first time last night. I was laying on the couch with my still sick but recovering husband, watching a movie, and I felt what I can only describe as someone poking my tummy from the inside out. It went on for a few minutes, and then turned into sort of a fluttering feeling that came and went. I felt her again before I fell asleep, and then several times throughout the day today. Now, I have known I was pregnant since about 2 weeks after we conceived . Every day of my life is consumed with thoughts of my pregnancy and the baby, and has been for the past four and a half months. And my initial reaction last night was “Holy Crap, there is a baby inside of me”. Until I felt her move, she was sort of abstract. I knew she was in there, but not in a real, tangible way. Last night, my baby girl said hello.
Thomas was equally excited about her movement. As soon as I said she was moving, he put his hand on my tummy Unfortunately, I’m the only one that will be able to feel her for the next month or so. So I’ll just have to perfect my play-by-play for everyone. I’ll be the Bob Costas of fetal movement broadcasting. Or someone less creepy.