Dylan will be two in just a couple of months. Two. Years. Old. I think about that constantly, and yet still cannot seem to fully process this information. Because I just gave birth to her, like, yesterday. How does this happen?
So, since my darling little girl will be an ACTUAL little girl soon, I’ve been thinking a lot about the things that we (I) need to accomplish before too long. It feels like we’ll be graduating, moving onto the next stage, and while I’m hoping there isn’t an actual test at the end of this term, I realize there are certain milestones one is expected to master. Or at the very least, attempt.
Here, in no particular order, is Dylan’s cram list (I’ll provide the Red Bull and pancakes, she’s gotta do the heavy lifting):
-Weaning. I KNOW. We had this conversation a few months ago. Or a year ago, whatever. Anyway, the point is, I started weaning, it was going awesomely (is that a word?), and then we kind of stalled out. Bedtime and nap time were the ones we held onto, and the rare occasion when she woke up at night. I was ok with getting rid of those sessions a little more slowly. But then I started working at night, and in the interest of sleeping in a little later in the mornings, I started bringing her to bed with me, and giving her a boob to get her back to sleep. Rookie mistake. And now it’s kind of a…thing. I don’t even know where to begin on this one.
-Pacifiers. I don’t hate them. I actually kind of love them. They saved my sanity many, many a night. And day. And car ride. But, it’s almost time to ditch the paci. I’m just not nearly stupid enough to cut off the boob and the baby plug at the same time. Boob first, then pacis.
-Potty training. Um. Yeah. We got a toilet? It should just resolve itself, right? (Please, leave me to my delusions. I don’t even want to think about all the pee. All. The. Pee.)
-Big Girl Bed. This one sends shivers down my spine, even more so than the peeing. I mean, cribs have bars for a reason people. Toddlers are insane little creatures that would set fire to their own foot if given the chance and a box of matches. The idea of her being unshackled and able to roam freely, even if it’s just in her little bedroom, is enough to keep me awake for the next 7 years. I think we’ll push this one off for a little while longer. Cribs are cool in high school, right?
If we buckle down and put our nose to the grindstone and burn the candle at both ends and any other clichés you can think of, I am fairly confident we’ll get this done in the next few months. But I’m not worried, and honestly, I’m not in too much of a rush. Dylan has always, since we brought her home all tiny and wiggly and pink, taken the lead. When she’s ready, she’s ready, and she gets shit done. I know her well enough to not push her, to wait until its her time. I know this because I am the exact same way.
So if I change her diaper, nurse her, then put her to bed in her crib with a pacifier (ok, two) the night of her second birthday? Meh. I’m ok with that. I know her time is soon. And when her time comes to graduate, please, send me booze. Not wine. Hard shit. Because lord help me, a toddler who can pee on your floor in the middle of the night because her baby jail is gone and who cannot be silenced with a boob? There is nothing more terrifying.
Your list looks so familiar! My daughter turned two in February, and we’ve been working on all the same stuff. (Except the pacifier. We actually tried to get her to use it when she was little, and she refused.) I weaned her months ago – except for bed time and nap time. That I did about a month ago. But you know what? It wasn’t too bad. At this age, she was old enough to understand when I told her that I was running out of milk and she’d only have it for three more days/two more/one more. It was a lie, but sometimes lies are worth it. Hey, it worked. I did night times first, then a few weeks later I did nap times. And it wasn’t bad! It really wasn’t. The crib rail, though? She fell out of her crib twice, so we knew we had to take it off. Since then, she has learned how to open her closet door, climb on top of her dresser, pull all her books off her shelves, and generally make a mess. So now we’re working on cleaning up after ourselves. (Not a fun one to add to the list.) As far as potty training goes, well, it’s slow because we’ve been working on the other stuff first.
Sorry so long, but I just know what you’re going through with this, and I had to share!
P.S. We’ve since removed a lot of stuff from her room so she can’t mess it up as much. We’re installing locks on the closet, and made it very difficult for her to open her bedroom door because we were terrified she’d get out in the middle of the night, run to the kitchen, and start trying to juggle the knives or something and we wouldn’t even know because she’d be quiet and we’d be asleep.
P.P.S. Good luck!!!
Thanks so much for sharing! I think I’m almost ready to start weaning, but a part of me just doesn’t want to stop yet, you know? I’ve been telling her that mamas milk is for smaller babies, and that pretty soon we wouldn’t be able to have it anymore. I think she gets it, she’s just not too keen on actually going through with it
The bed thing is frightening. We’ve always kept most toys and books and such out of her room and in the playroom, but I’m sure I’ll walk into a completely decimated dresser and closet. Cleaning up after ourselves will be a very important lesson!
Thanks for reading, and again, thanks for sharing!
Oh man, I feel you with the whole weaning thing. I’m apparently part of the very tiny percentage of women that can’t get knocked up if their boob is in a kid’s mouth (God hates me, I’m almost positive now). So I’ve been trying to at least slow down the nursing. It’s hard. Keep doing it until you don’t want to anymore; two is still a baby in my book
Oh, and the pacifier? Want to know when Henry stopped using one? Let’s just say he actually almost DID go to kindergarten with one….
Yeah, every time I think maybe it’s time, I get really sad, which probably means I’m not ready. And neither is she, so we’ll go until she is, I guess? The paci is working out a little better; we’ve gotten it down to sleep times only, so it never leaves her room. It was surprisingly easy to do too. But man I loved that thing, saved my LIFE when she was a baby! Oy mama, you’ll be barefoot and pregnant so soon, I know it. Ezra just needed you all to himself a little longer