Me: Sweet girl, are you hungry?

Dylan: Gleep toof danfy (uncontrollable laughter, finger in her nose).

Me: Ok. Um. You want some chicken? Maybe some avocado?

Dylan: Bobobobobobo, baby (hey! a real word!) baby baby baby, cat, skleepo.

Me: Soooooooo, is that a yes? Or do you want pasta? Fruit? Goldfish?

Dylan: *farts* (more uncontrollable laughter) burp! Burp! Burp! (laughter)

Me: (stifling laughter) That was NOT a burp, that was a toot. And it stinks.

Dylan: (runs around in circles) Burpburpburpburpburp!

Me: OK, I’m gonna make you some chicken, we’ll see what happens (REALLY hoping she’s just saying the word, and not actually farting in circles).

Dylan: Yum! Cado! (Dylan speak for avocado)

Me: Ok, so you want avocado instead? No problem! And maybe some fruit?

Dylan: Gleep toof danfy (uncontrollable laughter, finger in her nose)

Me: *bangs head slowly on wall*

Aaaaaaaaaand, scene.